"Self-trust, we know is the first secret of success." - Lady Wilde
Seeing a lot of new parents in my office really brought this topic to my attention. How do you learn to "trust yourself"? There is no easy way to learn to trust yourself overnight, it takes time, courage, and a lot of willingness to get past doubt. Here are some great tips I have collected over the years from mentors, experience, and even a little research.
1. Avoid negativity, or people that constantly remind you of possible negative outcomes.
(Why? A great way to breed negativity is to worry about it, constantly. If you are always afraid of what terrible thing might happen, you are unable to see creative solutions, or think outside of the box because your stress levels are too high to allow for a more innovative approach).
2. Speak kindly to yourself.
(Why? If you practice negative self talk, how will it be possible for you to trust yourself. For starters if your self talk is negative, why would you want to trust it? And secondly encouragement goes a long way, treat yourself like you would treat one of your best friends and you will be surprised how much better you start to feel).
3. Keep promises to yourself.
(Why? How many times have you placed your needs on the back burner, promising yourself to get healthier, relax more, take a break every once and a while? Yet you find yourself working through lunch and getting frustrated with loved ones. If you break a promise to take care of yourself, you undermine your own authority and ignore your needs. If someone else treated you like that, ignoring you when you are tired, hungry, or in need of help I doubt you would be friends for very long.)
4. Celebrate your strengths, work on your weaknesses.
(Why? Use opportunities to showcase your strengths, extra good at organizing, offer your services to make your office run more efficiently, your contribution will improve the environment and increase your confidence. Have a weakness you want to improve, such as time management? Ask a friend in another field what works for them, getting a different perspective might be the key you need to connect your organizational skills to time management by better organizing your time.)
5. Be authentically YOU.
(Why? Trying to conform to something that doesn't suit you, will constantly feel like a struggle and is a great way to create doubt and fear patterns. You don't need to "fit in", but you do need to stay true to yourself. For example, if you are looking for a fast paced fitness class but you have tried to connivence and force yourself to go to meditative yoga so you can "relax". Relaxing means different things to different people, forcing yourself to try to enjoy something that isn't congruent with you will can easily create unnecessary stress.)
Hope this helps! Happy Thursday!